Taking life day by day

I haven't blogged in a long time. I have been busy packing, moving, and now unpacking. JOY! I have been back to OB only one time so far. Just a regular ol check up. Baby's heartbeat sounded good and all my bloodwork was good. But as for all the other stuff I gotta wait and see the specialist again. That wont be until the 26th and I just keep praying for the best. Need more good news! Despite the good news on my CVS I have been really pessimistic about this whole pregnancy. And I never admit it out loud but sometimes I almost just like to pretend I'm not pregnant. This whole pregnancy still scares the crap outta me. And every single ache or pain or strange feeling I have, in the back of my mind I think "OMG I just KNOW I'm having a miscarriage" And I'm constantly in the back of mind preparing myself for a miscarraige. For example I prepare the conversation in my head on how I will explain it to my 4 yr old daughter or who I will give all my baby stuff to. Does that make me crazy? I know it sounds ridiculas and it even sounds kinda silly reading that I just wrote that. BUT its the truth. And I am glad to have it out. Maybe that will help me deal a little better.